Delving into the complexities of human behavior, we often discover that our actions and choices are deeply rooted in childhood. One of the most fascinating psychological concepts is the theory of child attachment and its impact on adult life. Introduced by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the 1950s, the attachment theory grouped all children into four categories based on their behavior: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. The original research, as well as numerous modern studies, found a direct correlation between a person’s attachment style and their future relationships, career choices, and mental health.
In this article, we will focus on one specific attachment style—avoidant. We will explain the common signs of an avoidant attachment style, look into the reasons a person may develop an avoidant attachment style as a child, and offer a few helpful solutions to overcome this challenge. While having an avoidant attachment style may feel overwhelming, people with this attachment style can learn how to build strong connections with others and succeed in love, friendship, and work.
Table of Contents
- What Is Avoidant Attachment Style
- Signs of Avoidant Attachment Style
- Causes of Avoidant Attachment Style
- Challenges of Avoidant Attachment Style
- How to Cope With Avoidant Attachment Style
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What Is Avoidant Attachment Style?
Avoidant attachment style, also known as dismissive avoidant attachment, is one of the four attachment styles a person may develop during their childhood. This attachment style is primarily characterized by the lack of emotional connection with other people—both the primary caregiver in the early years of a person’s life and their friends, family members, and romantic partners when the person grows up.
While on the outside, a person with an avoidant attachment style may appear strong, independent, and self-sufficient, but their inability to rely on others and open up about their feelings may mean they struggle with building relationships that are so important for a person’s happiness and success.
Signs of Avoidant Attachment Style
Here are a few common symptoms associated with the avoidant attachment style:
People with an avoidant attachment style often prefer to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves, fearing the vulnerability that comes with opening up to a friend or a partner. They are uncomfortable with physical affection as well—hugging or holding hands may make them feel awkward.
It is typical for an avoidant person to be uneasy in social settings, especially when they are surrounded by strangers. If your friend suddenly cancels the plans to go to a party or spend time with a large group of people, it is possible their avoidant attachment style gets the best of them.
Causes of Avoidant Attachment Style
There are several reasons to develop an avoidant attachment style:
The way the primary caregiver treats the child plays a huge role in the latter’s development. If the caregiver was emotionally unavailable, rejected the child’s attempts to get close, and criticized the child for showing feelings, it may lead to the avoidant attachment style.
Certain negative experiences, such as bullying at school or the inability to fit in with the peer group, may make the child avoid social interactions in the future.
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Challenges of Avoidant Attachment Style
There are several long-term negative consequences of the avoidant attachment style, especially if a person never addresses this issue:
Difficulty with emotional expression, constant solitude, discomfort with intimacy, and frequent withdrawal from socialization may mean the person is incapable of creating and maintaining friendships and romantic relationships. In addition, lack of communication skills and low self-esteem may adversely affect the person’s professional prospects—they may fail to work in a team, never share their opinions with the manager, and refuse promotions that require people skills.
How to Cope With Avoidant Attachment Style
Follow these tips to deal with the avoidant attachment style:
Spend a few minutes every day analyzing your behavior—are you running away from a challenging conversation with a friend? Do you bottle up your feelings instead of sharing them with the person who upset you? Self-reflection will help you understand the patterns you need to break.
Whether you decide to confide in a friend you trust or schedule an appointment with a mental health professional, it is crucial to get an outsider’s perspective on the issue. A therapist will be able to get to the bottom of the problem and equip you with the tools you need to overcome the avoidant attachment style.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does “avoidant attachment style” mean?
Avoidant attachment style is a type of childhood attachment characterized by a person’s inability to get close to other people and rely on anyone but themselves.
What are the main symptoms of the avoidant attachment style?
The main signs of the avoidant attachment style are the lack of emotional expression, avoidance of social situations, and discomfort with intimacy.
What causes an avoidant attachment style?
Poor treatment from the primary caregiver and negative experiences during childhood may lead to the development of the avoidant attachment style.
What are the four attachment styles?
There are four childhood attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized.
Can you fix the avoidant attachment style?
It is possible to overcome the avoidant attachment style through self-reflection and therapy—a certified therapist will be able to help you target this issue.
Pacific Coast Mental Health
Reach Out to Pacific Coast Mental Health Experts
We hope that our guide was useful and you learned a thing or two about the avoidant attachment style as well as its symptoms, causes, and treatment. Remember that getting to the bottom of your behavior and making changes to the way you act is only possible if you enlist the help of mental health professionals. Do you struggle with the avoidant attachment style? Contact Pacific Coast Mental Health to schedule a therapy session and get the assistance you need!
